I’ve had a song lyric by my favorite band (Dawes) stuck in my head the past few days. “If you don’t know where you are going, then any road will take you there.”
It’s crazy how much this rings true in my life right now. Between being in a depressive episode, trying to fight my way through school, and now my new fashion journey. I have stable things in my life of course, my boyfriend, my parents, friends, doctors. Yet, I’m still on my own journey. I’ve realized recently, that I haven’t found a point in life, I don’t mean in the depressive way, as in, life is pointless, but more in a philosophical way. I’m not going to get into that here though.
What made me think about this is a run in I had we my neighbor the other day, he has a daughter my age and we were close friends growing up. And he assumed I was working, that I had finished my BA, and that I was in graduate school. The thing is, none of those things are true. And as I told him, he had this look, as if, my journey didn’t fit into his idea of how things should be, how his daughters journey was. And that’s not fair. It made me feel like lesser of a person.
Recently I’ve been trying to retrain my thoughts, so I had to sit with that experience for a little while and think. I had to remind myself that my journey is my own. I am not the same as other people. And most importantly, that that’s okay. I have to learn to be at peace with the things in my life, with my personal journey.
I’ve come to learn that it’s not my journey verses someone else’s journey or your journey verses anyone else’s journey. It’s a hard thing to come to terms with, especially if you’re on social media all the time. It’s hard not to compare yourself to other people and how far they have come in the same amount of time. It’s not fair to you or your mental state. And I know for me, my mental state is of the highest priority. Even though I still compare myself to others, it’s only natural, I’ve come to learn to respect my journey. And that I’ll find a road to take me where I’m meant to be.