I’m writing this on Monday afternoon.
So, I woke up this morning exhausted, like a, let my crawl back into bed and be a sloth all day. AKA do nothing but lay on the couch and just watch youtube videos to my hearts content, maybe even take a nap. Normally, I would give into that, let me be a sloth today feeling, but today I didn’t. I got it together, did a workout, and did some blogging and researching. Even after coffee I was already convinced I was going to fall back asleep, and I was about to give in. Then something weird happened, I didn’t give in. I pushed myself to stay awake, even if I just sat on the couch and watched something random. I thought to myself, who is this person. In my mind I didn’t really recognize myself, in a good way though, because all these things are changes for the good.
It’s now 2:20 pm, I’m currently having an energy drink, which is something I rarely have. I feel energized and productive. I’ve noticed within myself some changes. The thing with me is though, that once I see change I’ll just take hold of it and just grind away. Then I’ll burnout and those changes would have been for nothing. It just makes me feel bad, because I look back and say, why couldn’t I keep up with that or if I had stuck with that I would be better.
So now I’m trying to slowly make progress. Like, add in small changes as time goes on, because if I try and implement them all at once, I’ll burn out. I want to start making in-depth weekly and daily to-do lists, I want to set goals that are achievable. I want to have things to show progress, to show how far I’ve come. I just want to be more organized. I actually envy the people that can do that. Have the ability to plan their own lives for maximum productivity and just can make a clear plan. I’m not saying I want a completely structured life, I can’t function that way. I need loose structure. I need to start loosely scheduling my days, slowly. I’m not going to jump in like I usually do and try and plan every little part of my life. I want to create healthy habits that will stick, not something I’ll do for a few weeks then get tired of it and stop. I’ve put in a lot of hard work so far in the past few weeks, I don’t want to lose that or lose the momentum.
I just have to commit, commit to adding one thing a week, just pick a goal during the week before, and implement it the next week. I’ve decided to start my weeks on Mondays, Sunday’s are for relaxing or as I like to call it slothing it. On that day, I give myself permission to do whatever I want. Not change out of my pajamas? Okay. Lay on the couch and watch beauty videos all day? Sure. Once Monday morning hits though, I get back into the routine. The mindset is still there, because I’ve given myself permission to take that time. I’m not taking that time because I’m lazy and I just don’t want to or I tell myself I’m just down and there’s no point. I’m not so far in that I just cannot take a day off in the middle of the week if I need to. Say I have stomach pain one day, I’m not going to do a full workout the next day, and that’s okay.
So, I’m trying to create a routine and become more organized, but for me, it’s a slow and steady transition. I have to accept that.
A Delicate Odyssey 