Sometime things happen, and it’s just like, well damn. And you’re left asking, who? What? Where? Why? Just like, how?
It seems like life isn’t fair, as if, the real world just crashed into your personal space and there’s no boundaries. Maybe if you believe in fate, it’ll make sense, now or later, but maybe never. Somethings are just meant to be or not be in some cases.
I wrote this in August? Maybe? Regardless, it’s a sentiment that still applies. I’m not sure what I was writing this about, but I feel like it kind of applies to now. With COVID-19, it has nothing to do with fate. There are conspiracy theories surrounding how the virus was contracted in the first place. One of which is that China created it in a lab, now I’m no conspiracy theorist, but I think it’s a possibility. I’m just going to leave it at that.
Anyway, when New York shut down, real life, it got real, very quickly. We were rushing to make sure we had what we needed. Then there was literally nothing to do. My boyfriend said that you have to accept the situation that we’re in, process it however you need to, but you need to process and accept that this may be how things will be for an unknown amount of time. What did I do? I spiraled into a depression. It was severe, and really hard on me. But he snapped me out of it after weeks on weeks of this all consuming depression. And, I now am at peace with this is how things are for however long this lasts for. Now, I can take advantage of it or I can just wallow, just be like, I’m the only one who feels this way. Which is not true. Everyone may not feel things the way I do, but they’re hurting just the same. I was living in this self-centered fantasy world, and my boyfriend brought me back to the real world. He gave me what I needed to fully process and accept what’s happening.
So yes, the real world, it’s real now. We are in the middle of a global pandemic, and there is nothing we can do about it. That’s as real as it gets. Nothing any regular person does will be able the cure the virus. We can help each other make the situation easier, but we can’t create a cure. I feel like that’s a hard pill to swallow, in the grand scheme of things, most regular people, can’t help create a vaccine, they can’t administer the necessary tests. Our futures are in other peoples hands. And to me, that’s horrifying.