Naps and Tacos

Good morning! I’m writing this on Thursday morning, and I’m feeling pretty good. I kind of had an epiphany this morning.

Somedays you need to get up and do all the things and somedays you need to go back to sleep on the couch. It’s called balance.

I haven’t had a lot of balance in my life lately and I think that’s why I’ve been so anxious and stressed, pushing myself past my limits. I’ve had no balance. I feel like my life hasn’t been filled with a lot of balance, especially lately. I feel like I don’t even know what balance is anymore. I think part of it is being bipolar, not all of it, just partly. A lot of times my bipolar manifests itself as having more extremes. Like if I feel something, I’ll feel it deeply and react with those amplified feelings in mind. I don’t think about it though. I just do it. My emotions get amplified a lot, more often than I would like to admit. That’s the nature of the beast though I suppose. This prevents me from being able to find balance. Which I need.

A lot of the time I just want to do what I want to do, but because I have no balance I feel bad about indulging in certain things. Like tacos and naps. I’ll think about these things, then I’ll tell myself that I shouldn’t take a nap because I’ll feel bad afterwards. I’ll think about getting tacos, but I say to myself what if you get glutened? I need to find a balance, tell myself it’s okay to take a nap today but don’t do it every day and the same goes for the tacos. These are not everyday things. So another day I may not nap and I’ll have a salad instead of tacos. Now, that’s balance. Do I do these things? Not yet. Is it something I can work on? Of course.

So today is a nap and taco day, my boyfriend promised me that we could get tacos today and I already fell back asleep on my couch this morning. Do I feel bad about it? Nope. Would I usually? Yes. So, the moral of the story is, have the tacos and take the nap. Find your balance.

Advertisement

Tuesdays are for Late Naps

Sorry this is going up so late, but my anxiety was so bad earlier, I took anti-anxiety meds, and they knocked me out. I slept from about 7-9:20 pm. The thing is, that I have a very strict night time routine. Which starts at 9:00 exactly. So between waking up so late and having to take my dog out, and now writing this, there’s no time for my routine. Which we call “simmering”. No simmering, usually results in my waking up early the next morning with anxiety, especially this time, because I’m going to have to force myself back to sleep.

The thing is, I’m not upset about this nap. My body must have needed it, I’ve been so stressed and anxious the past few days, I must not have been getting enough restful sleep. So my body took what it needed. I usually try to not take naps, because I always feel pretty bad when I wake up from them. Sometimes, naps are okay though, they can be refreshing, sometimes they’re what you need. Tonight, it probably won’t help me I feel refreshed and it sure won’t help me in the morning. But I am sure, that my body will thank me for it. I’m going to leave this here and try and go back to sleep. Which may or may not happen.