YAS

So, as of Monday, I have officially reach ONE HUNDRED followers on my blog! I honestly can’t believe it. When I started this blog, with all the posts from my angsty 19 year old self to the posts about how my life is now. It truly has been a journey. I’m glad I made this blog and I started taking it seriously. I now have a whole timeline to see how far I’ve come. From when I was first diagnosed to 7 years later. Sometimes I read my old posts and I tear up because I remember how much pain I was in and how alone I had felt. I honestly don’t know how I’ve made it through, but this blog is here to prove to myself that I can grow, change, and learn. That I don’t have to let my circumstances beat me or force me to make certain decisions. The times when my condition ruled my life.

I have made so much progress and I am so ecstatic that I now have 100 people with me to see my journey. I can only hope that some of my posts have either inspired someone or made someone feel less alone. I never want anyone to feel the way I felt when I was 19. I want to be a beacon of hope, well in some sense anyway. I just want to thank you all for following me and believing in me. In the form of letting my posts grace your timelines. I am so lucky to have come this far. I remember in the winter posting about have 50 followers. Now I have 100 and it blows my mind. Meeting this mile stone has come at a time where I have begun to question myself. Questioning if I’m on the path I actually want to be on. If I’m happy with where I am. Deciding if it’s time to give up on an unspoken dream. This, to me anyway, is a sign that I’m on the right path and I shouldn’t give up.

Because there are 100 people who actually care about what I write. For thank I thank you. You all have a special place in my heart and my journey.

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Hi, Mom

My mom may or may not read this, but it’s about to get real sappy. You have been warned.

Saying my mom is the best would be an understatement. She goes above and beyond for everyone and everything. Like, if you think of Leslie Knope, that’s pretty much my mom. She loves her town and she loves the people. Most importantly, she loves me. More than I even probably know.

Sometimes I think I take the fact that I have a mom like mine for granted. So many people may not have what we have. I cannot imagine my life being the same if my mom wasn’t my mom or who she was.

Who she is, she’s everything. She’s smart, caring, passionate, and so many other things, think of a positive characteristic and I can guarantee that she embodies it. Yes, she has her flaws, and yes, she passed down the procrastination gene. That’s okay though. I’ll take being a procrastinator over being a million other things. She acknowledges these flaws and handles mistakes with intelligence and grace.

I’m just so lucky. I’m going to keep this short in case she does read it.

Happy Mothers Day, mom.

Don’t Quit Your Day Job Kid

In honor of my first featured blog post (link at end of post) in an emerging blogger series. I wanted to first say thank you to Ashley at Mental health @ home for giving me the opportunity! And second I wanted to reflect a little bit on why I started blogging in the first place.

Never in a million years did I think I’d have 40 followers on this blog, not when I was 19, not even two months ago.

I started this blog out of pure need for a creative outlet. I wanted to write things that someone might be able to relate to. I was never good at drawing or art or music, but I loved to write. So I figured this was free, why not. Here I am now, I know 40 may not seem like a lot, but it means so much to me, that there’s people out there who actually like what I write or are interested in what I have to say.

I keep this blog private, in the respect that, the only people I know, that know, are the people I chose to tell, which I can count on 2 hands. I write what I feel here, about my experiences, and just random rambles or rants. It truly is a creative outlet. If I didn’t get any more followers I would be perfectly fine. I was never super popular, I never really spoke my mind, and I for sure, never tell people about my bipolar, it’s a choice I’ve made, and I will continue to live my life this way. I tell who I need to tell or who I feel needs to know. Here though, it truly is a labor of love, I love writing and I love that people want to read what I write, that people can relate. I find it truly amazing.

I don’t plan on making this more than a hobby, a hobby that I am now very invested in. I don’t plan on slowing down, but I also don’t plan on dropping everything and just focusing on this. I have dreams that I still want to follow, paths that I’ve yet to choose. I just know that this blog isn’t going anywhere and neither am. I’m extremely lucky and so thankful for this blog. Just for the sheet fact that it gives me a creative outlet, it’s something that I truly enjoy.

Here’s the link!!:

http://mentalhealthathome.org/2019/07/15/emerging-blogger-series-amy/