It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, lots of things have been going on. Some doors closed and some new ones opened as the year came to a close. I finished the semester with a B average, which I’m happy with seeing how many classes I missed. Now, next semester I’ve been toying with the idea of taking the semester off. That’s because I put so much pressure on myself during the semester, which is essentially detrimental to my mental health during the semester. Not one day goes by without me being symptomatic, and that basically sums up my 2019.
All symptoms all the time, I can’t seem to shake them, with all the medication I’m on, it really doesn’t make sense. In 2019, my doctors and I decided no more med adjustments, unless it’s absolutely necessary. So, it’s been a lot of work on my part. I really can’t say what worked and what didn’t, I just know I got by and survived everyday. Between PTSD flashbacks this summer, to intrusive thoughts this fall. It hasn’t been easy, but I made it.
Also, towards the end of the year, I started having stomach issues and decided to cut gluten out of my diet. Which has been difficult, but beneficial. Until the holidays hit, and now I’m paying for it. Its not about losing weight, it’s about my overall health and well being. Being in discomfort and pain all the time, when there’s something I could easily do about it. So what I have to cut out sugar and bread, two of my favorite things, if it’ll make me feel better than so be it. My doctor had me get a sonogram for it, to make sure it wasn’t my gallbladder, and waiting for those results made me so anxious. Meanwhile the anxiety probably was causing a lot of my stomach problems, so it was just a vicious cycle. The sonogram came back fine, so that made me feel better, but my stomach is still bothering me today. We’ll see what happens from here.
I’m not going to get too much into what I already went over earlier this year, so this is just a catch up of what has been happening. Since he got fired, he’s been much happier, things have been looking up. He applied for a small business program within the unemployment office, because basically, with his skill set it’ll be difficult for him to find a job in the field, that he would actually want. He doesn’t want to work somewhere where he will be as miserable, like with his last job. Anyway, he applied and we got an answer, and well, it’s been a secret project. I can’t share much here because my mom reads my blog (hi mom). But exciting things are happening. They will be revealed in just a few days. I really can’t wait. It’s going to be good, we just have to show the idea to my parents, not because we need investors or anything, but because we’ll be working out of their house, if it gets approved. So, we’re doing some work behind the scenes and hoping it all works out. Hopefully, the state has enough faith in our idea, and if they do, I hope everyone else does too. It’s something that we’ve talked about doing, just in passing, but it could become a reality. All I can say is, fingers crossed.
So, here’s to big things coming in 2020, dreams becoming reality, and just good energy, positive mindsets, and accepting change.