Do It For the Mems pt 1

Since this mornings post was very heavy I thought I would put up a bonus post. I’m not sure what this series is going to be about, but I didn’t just want to have one post about making memories.

I have over 4,000 pictures on my icloud. They range from 2012 to now. So I really like to make memories and document special moments. Some people say to not take pictures and just live in the moment, I like to do both. I’ll take maybe on picture and then bask in the experience. A lot of times when I’m taking pictures of things or of other people I say “do it for the mems”. So, I think instead of doing throwbacks, I’ll post pictures of special times where I did things and took pictures for the “mems”.

Today’s picture is of when my boyfriend and I drove down to North Carolina to see his family. I have some amazing memories from that trip. I ended up having a pretty rough time emotionally because of my meds. The memories though, I’ll never forget. This was about 6 months after we started dating, we had spent a lot of time together, but this was special. It was our first long trip together, and I know there’s going to be many more. I miss being in North Carolina, so I’m sure he misses it even more than I do.

Family Motivations

Today’s post was supposed to be my “Easy Breezy Organization” post, but it doesn’t feel right. I don’t really want to comment on the state of the world, I feel like so many people are doing that. Going in depth and telling the story of George Floyd. I on the other hand will tell you the story of one of the greatest people I knew, my role model, an amazing activist, supporter of justice, and fighter for change and equality. My Grandma Nina. Unfortunately we lost her in 2016.

I am who I am today because of her. She influenced my path in life and altered the way I see things and people and the difference between justice and injustice. What I know for a fact right now is that there is so much injustice and inequality happening in the US right now. There always has been, it’s just now coming to a head. We are calling for change. If my grandma taught me anything it’s that saying anything is saying something. I may feel like I have such a small platform, that I may not have the biggest voice, I may not be the loudest person in the room, but I am saying something. This systematic injustice is wrong. Criminal. My grandma would be out in the streets right now if she were still here. I would stand with her.

She changed my life. We went through phases of how close we were, but in the years leading up to her passing we became closer. She truly became my best friend. I could listen to her forever, and the thing is, that if I disagreed, we had a discussion. She was such a joy and a gem.

At her 90th birthday party I got wine drunk, gave a speech, and cried. To be honest I don’t remember what I said. I just remember saying that I chose my major because of her, and it’s true. I went into political science because of her. I wanted to make her proud. Further study the things that she had ingrained in me. That’s what I did. I still don’t have my degree, but I should by next May.

So, the United States is in major social justice turmoil. We want change. The sentence is simple, but it’s a hard road. Not impossible, but hard. We are entering a new era for equality and racism. People are fighting for the rights that they should already have.

I will never know what it’s like to live in fear because of the color of my skin. I never acknowledge it, but I know that I am privileged because I am white. My grandma taught me many things, but mostly that everyone’s life has value. This homicide, which was clearly done without regard for a persons life, it shows that certain people believe that Black lives have less or basically no value. Which is the sickest thing about all of this. George Floyd and all of the other sick and senseless murders committed by the police, shows the truth about racism. That it exists and is prevalent in everyday lives.

Everything just seems so trivial now. So, if I’m a bit quiet or my posts are shorter that’s why. Stay safe.

I lost someone very close to me this week. I’m sad and my heart hurts. I know what it’s like to lose someone, but it’s different this time. I didn’t get to say goodbye and I don’t think I’ll be able to get a proper one. There is no closure I just have to grive and mourn the best that I can. With memories and thinking of her when ever I’m doing something or I’m somewhere I know she loved to go. When I read a piece of literature or I’m in an art mesuem or I’m just trying some new food. She brought so much culture into my life. I don’t think I’d be the same person without her. 

My heart is heavy. The tears come and go. My life won’t be the same. I have to find a way to heal, the wound is still pretty fresh though. This post is short, but I’ll have a pretty long weekly wrap up post tommrow there’s lots to chat about and I think it’ll take my mind off of things. 

Luck and Love

I was having a conversation with my boyfriend, literally 10 minutes ago. I said that I win every single day when I get to be with him, butttt that’s not going to stop me from entering as many giveaways as I can.

I’m sitting on the floor next to his side of the bed, with my dog next to me, why? I just had the urge it sit on the floor. He said it’s because I “wanted a change of scenery”. Which is quite possible. Anyway, I’m watching my usual YouTube beauty videos and one of my favorite YouTubers, just released an eyeshadow palette, and I didn’t think I wanted it until I saw the reviews. Now I’m like NEED. Unfortunately, by time I get the money to get it, it’ll be sold out. I entered two giveaways to try and win it, but no luck there. I haven’t won a giveaway, well, ever. I enter a lot too. That’s the main reason I got my Twitter, to enter giveaways. That probably sounds crazy. I mean, to me it makes sense. I like free things. If it’s easy to enter, then I don’t see why not. I have 7 followers on Twitter. My main Twitter. I don’t even know how many I have on my blog Twitter. Anyway, I’m clearly not the luckiest person when it comes to giveaways. That’s fine with me. As much as it would be nice to get all those things, I’m lucky in other ways.

I have a place to live, I have the best pets, and a wonderful love of my life. Along with MANY other blessings in my life in the form of people. My parents, my best friend, my whole family in general. It just shows me, that sometimes I need to take a minute and reflect. Because I really don’t think I do that enough. I feel like I don’t take things for granted, but sometimes I do. Sometimes I forget to just stop and look around and see all the love in my life, the true luck that I have.

I may not have a knack for winning giveaways, but I sure do have a knack for attracting the best people. I guess, that is luck.