Sunday Rants

Grab a snack, grab a drink, it’s time for a rant!

It’s 3:00 on Sunday afternoon, I’m cranky, hungry, anxious, and irritable, I also have a slight migraine. So, needless to say, I’m not having a great day, I mean, it’s not the worst, but it could 100% be going better. I got up around 7:40, watched some youtube, scrolled on some social media, waited for my boyfriend to wake up. By time he woke up, I was already anxious. We had planned on cleaning today and I already felt overwhelmed by it. To say the least, our apartment is a mess. It is extremely overwhelming, like I want to clean, but I look at all the stuff that has to be done, and I start panicking, so I don’t do it. The main thing I have issues with, is the dishes. I know, I know, it seems like something basic and minimal, like, just do it. We have no where to put our dishes though, so if I wash them, they just sit until we use them, then we use them, they sit in the sink until I do them, so it’s just like a vicious cycle. I hate it. There are other things I could do that I don’t find as daunting, but I just can’t seem to do it.

So, instead of cleaning earlier, I went to ulta with my best friend. I got an eye shadow palette I’ve been wanting, a lip gloss, and a primer. I felt guilty afterwards, feeling like I shouldn’t have spent the money. That just added to how I had already been feeling. I also felt pretty down last night after I posted, like really down, negative self talk and all. So, I dealt with that, went to sleep, woke up, and today is another day..to feel bad.

I’ve been feeling okay for the most part, it’s just the past few days. I’m irritated that I’ve had a migraine for the past three days, that we got nothing done today, and that I spent money that I feel like I shouldn’t have. I’m also waiting on and amazon order, which is taking forever, so I’m just basically annoyed by everything. Also, I hate change, and my boyfriend has been moving a bunch of stuff around in our living room, making me very anxious. So, basically this is just a long rant about how I’ve been feeling the past few days.

I’m waiting on my amazon order which is just some beauty stuff that I thought I needed, but I keep asking myself, do I actually need it? I got multiples of pretty much everything, because I’m notorious for losing most things beauty related. Hair ties, my favorite hair clips, lip balm, makeup brushes, you name it, I lose it. So, I do actually need the things that I got, they’re things I use on a regular basis and lose, on a regular basis.

I need to find something new to do with my time. I watch a lot of youtube, but I can’t keep doing it. There are other things I could do, read, write listen to an audio book or music. The possibilities are endless! I choose to not do them though, because they’re out of my comfort zone and cause anxiety. And what do I do when something makes me anxious? Avoid it. I can’t avoid everything though, that doesn’t mean I won’t try. So, I’m going to go avoid cleaning some more and keep watching youtube.

End Rant.

Sundays are for New Things

I got my new Amazon Kindle Fire 8 in the mail yesterday! It made a bit of a bad day better. It gave me a distraction from an issue that had upset me greatly. Anyway so far it’s great. I had a 6 year old Ipad mini, and it stopped letting me update apps, so I decided it was time to move on to something a little more up to date. The fire 8 was only $80, which really isn’t bad for what you get. I also did monthly payments of $16, the only issue I ran into was that, there are ads, and the only way to get rid of those ads is to pay an extra $15, which I think is ridiculous. I mean for $80, I’ll take it.

I was going back and fourth with weather or not I wanted to actually get it. I’m a very frugal person, and spending money is not my favorite thing to do. I mean, yeah, I like having new things, but I always have buyers remorse. No matter what. To the point where I won’t buy things I need or I’ll just put it off until after I actually needed to buy it. For example, I wear contacts, and I felt bad asking for someone to buy them for me because I felt they were too expensive. So, I wore the free pair that I got from the eye doctor to death. My boyfriend made me wear my glasses and throw out the contacts until we could afford to buy the six month supply. I hate wearing my glasses, so it was not an enjoyable 3 weeks.

Anyway, after going back and fourth for a few days, I finally decided to just buy the new tablet, and I’m glad I did. I get all my apps, including wordpress, I get kindle, and audible. All things amazon. Also, my boyfriend added me to his prime so I get all the perks of that. Which also means I get to listen to all the audible books he has, and he has a lot. Right now I’m listening to Star Trek: Discovery. I also got a few new books, for free, the on I’m reading now it called Salt & Stone. Which is about mermaids and I have a fascination with mermaids.

Needless to say, I’m very happy with my purchase, well so far, so good. I’ve only had it for a day and I feel like it’s already paid for itself. I was super anxious earlier, so I put on my favorite music and read my book, and it was all in one place. I didn’t have to worry about having a million and one things surrounding me and getting caught up in cords and such, it was really nice and convenient. If it can help me beat anxiety like this on a regular basis, I’ll be very happy. So, I’ll see how it goes from here!