I am on seven different medications, the highest dose of all most of them, and I still struggle, everyday. Lately I’ve been in a state of panic, caring more about myself than other people, crying, being afraid to leave the house and on and on. This is worse than most of the time, usually I know how to keep symptoms in check, but right now, it’s like there’s no stopping them. I’m at a loss. I mean, I still know how lucky I am. I have a supportive and loving boyfriend and family, I have the resources I need at my disposal, the mental health professionals that I can contact any time of day. I’ve been blessed and at times like these I feel like I’m taking all of this for granted. I don’t know how to stop the panic, I don’t know how to stop the symptoms from raging. I’ve been here before, I know where this road goes, I know this spiral cannot continue and I need to put a stop to it, but I feel helpless. Like a damsel in distress, but the only one who can help is me.
I’m exhausted today. I have a headache and I want to sleep. I don’t know where to start on this self care journey. I’m lost and confused. Help, anyone?